Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Theme Park Website Announces Required Reading List

The Assistant Dean of Undergraduate Affairs at Theme Park Critic has just announced the required reading materials for any coaster enthusiasts who enroll at the website in the future, stating that "education is a year-round goal."

Those who are admitted to the website, beginning immediately, will be required to read the Concise English Handbook, Chicago Manual of Style, Strunk and White's The Elements of Style, and Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation.

"Bad grammar is a widespread problem in our field," said the Assistant Dean. "With this reading requirement, we are hoping our new posters will be able to express themselves in a competent way. Although we frankly find much of the posting on these forums to be appalling, we feel that taking a preemptive correctional approach like this is far better than just suspending people for typos."

However, the Assistant Dean then added, "If these boneheads can't tell the difference between 'its' as a possessive and 'it's' as a contraction after all that required reading, I will not only suspend them, I will strangle them with my bare hands," although he did request that this statement be considered off the record.