Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Are Any of Our Readers Actually Hoping to Read Amusement Industry Satire?

That's the question of the day after we idly browsed our logfiles last night after not thinking to do so for a while. The answer appears to be a resounding "F*ck no!" according to the evidence.

The top search phrase used to find our website the past four months, by an overwhelming margin, has been "hairy boys." We've also been reached numerous times by people looking for "gay speedo," "squeal like a pig," and "boys restroom."

Recently, people who appear to be very confused about what type of website they're looking for have come across us by Googling for "erotic massage" and "anal sexy." Sorry you folks didn't find anything to jerk yourselves to, but we hope you'll return to find out some more fake news involving Six Flags. Oh, and speaking of jerking it, there was also a weird direct link from a website devoted to instructing people on how to use shower heads for better masturbation. No, we're not kidding. There's no way we could make up something that weird. As a courtesy to our readers, we won't provide you with a link back to said site, since we don't know how good your spyware filters are.

Unsurprisingly, there were also a few non-sexual odd search strings as well. We've got some people inquiring about "Top Thrill Dragster picture of girl pee after ride," and then we have several more hits for "pimp Mickey Mouse," which we don't even pretend to understand.

And, amazingly, we beat out nearly every science-based website on the planet when someone searched Google for "ligand rumors." If anyone would like to cite us in a scholarly biological, medical or immunological publication, please contact us at the email address to the left; if not, you may wish to try Pubmed instead.