Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors.

Six Flags Magic Mountain Suspends Service of Fugu Two Days After Debut
Casualty Count Still Unavailable

Food Etc., a food stand in the "Colossus County Fair" section of Six Flags Magic Mountain, has suspended service of fugu just two days after the fish's debut at the sushi stand there. Though no casualty count is confirmed, it's suspected that at least two people are dead after ingesting the tasty new delicacy.

Magic Mountain General Manager Del Holland had this to say:

"Anyone who knows Magic Mountain's quality of ride operations, food standards, and employee training easily knows the that our park has no negligent role in this tragedy." Holland stated, "There appears, actually, to be a problem with the supplier. Apparently, while they were supposed to deliver the rare and exotic delicacy of fugu to be served at our Food Etc. stand for the low and competitive price of $400 a plate, they instead delivered us an incredibly poisonous blowfish of some nature. Rest assured that this will work its way out in litigation, and we at Six Flags offer our deepest sympathies to all the victims of this erroneously-served food."

When it was explained to the General Manager that fugu is, in fact, an incredibly poisonous blowfish that requires a specially trained and licensed chef to prepare or else causes the painful death of anyone that ingests it, Mr. Holland paused to digest the information, then emitted the careful reply of "Oh shit."

--MOS