Friday, September 24, 2004

Rolucster Vare Good!

There are those who feel it isn't really nice when we make fun of children.

Our response? We aren't nice.

But, more importantly, when children create a website announcing such illuminating thoughts as "I MADE A ROLUCSTER IN CAMP" and "CAMP IS VARE GOOD I LIKE WEN WE DID THE ROLER COSTERE!" it's okay to make fun of children. Or, at the very least, the teachers who let them play with Borax and glue immediately before vainly attempting to write coherent sentences for a website (at least according to one writer on the webpage).

By the way, we're more than a little disturbed by one of the kids talking about how "I like the Fist Day." What the hell kind of camp is this, anyway?

Thus, our Site O' the Weak: BETR Kids Science Camp Newsletter.

Geauga Lake Plans New Ride For 2005 Near "The Dominator"

Geauga Lake has given ARN&R a sneak peek at the plans for their new ride in 2005. Called "The Submissive," this underground ride is a combination dark and water ride, with guests inhabiting a flume-like boat. With a taboo-breaking, state of the art, restraint system and some of the most extensive theming in Ohio since the Tombraider ride at Paramount's Kings Island, "The Submissive" will be quite a challenge for the manufacturer, Sally Interactive.

One of the most interesting elements of this ride will be its location. In one of the most novel ride installations in memory, "The Submissive" will be laid underneath "The Dominator," and will be almost entirely underground, with various small sections rising up to intersect with the 200-foot B&M floorless. John Kinzle, ride engineer at Sally Interactive, spoke to ARN&R about how the 2 rides will interact.

"We hope for 'The Dominator' to enter 'The Submissive' as many times as physically possible. During its course, we'd like to make it so that 'The Dominator' enters 'The Submissive' in many different ways, including the rear (of the station) and the mouth (of the tunnel)."

"The Submissive's" plans also include being penetrated by other nearby rides, but mainly "The Submissive's" plans deal with multiple penetrations by "The Dominator."

Kinzel is also hopeful about the progress of construction. "We've broken ground on numerous other rides in Ohio without incident, so we feel it's going to be extremely quick and easy to break "The Submissive."

Stay tuned to ARN&R for more details on this fascinating new ride.