Enthusiast Eager to Take Dump in New Animal Kingdom Bathroom
Coaster Enthusiast Richard Serpa, 46, grew very excited today. The reason for this burst of enthusiasm, according to the friendless and jobless amusement park fanboy, was the fact that he came across a Disney's Animal Kingdom tribute page; the website featured a large array of photos of the construction for a new themed bathroom near the future Everest coaster in Animal Kingdom.
"Woah," said Serpa. "I can't wait to take a dump in that bathroom. I bet it's themed really awesome. Who wouldn't want to obliterate the porcelain in a fine-looking bathroom themed like that?"
Serpa went on to state that he had enjoyed the clean, private, and thematically enhanced public restrooms at dozens of amusement parks, and loved them all, but that he anticipated this would be "the most coolest one yet." He also mentioned, without provocation, that he intended to fill himself to bursting with greasy fast food and Dave's Insanity Hot Sauce the night before visiting Animal Kingdom for the restroom's opening day, so as to "really experience the attraction to its fullest."