Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Exclusive IAAPA Coverage Coming Soon

As ARN&R has done for over three centuries, we've got a phalanx of reporters on the ground in Orlando, combing the grounds for exclusive ARN&R breaking news.

We'll keep you updated, of course, but for now, just this one nugget of fun: Sources indicate that there may be a new food product on a stick announced at this year's show.
Hersheypark Steals Idea From ARN&R

AbsolutelyReliable Conglomerate MegaCorp Dynamo Inc. is pondering a multi-trillion dollar lawsuit against Hersheypark for stealing an idea from its website, say sources. While most members of the unsuspecting, and, frankly, stupid public believed that they had a major hand in choosing the name and theme for Hersheypark's new Storm Runner coaster, the reality may be that HP blatantly swiped the concept from the pages of the influential and totally factual Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors.

"Way back in August, we had an article at ARN&R that claimed Hersheypark's new coaster would be called Misty of Chincoteague: The Xtreme Armageddon," said the Editor-in-Chief. "We postulated that the 'I Survived My Still-Beating Heart Being Torn From My Chest by Misty of Chincoteague and Devoured by Her as I Watched' T-shirt would be a big seller and that Satan himself might be riding astride the cruel beast Misty. Most importantly, we said that the 'logo will feature a menacing demon horse charging toward the viewer, with foam and blood spewing left and right from a terrifying maw laden with razor-sharp fangs.'"

The E-in-C then directed reporters to view Screamscape, where the logo of the actual new Storm Rider bore a more-than-striking resemblance to the described Misty of Chicoteague: The Xtreme Armageddon logo from the earlier ARN&R feature.

"It really makes us more sad than angry here at ARN&R," added the E-in-C. I mean, what is the world coming to when amusement parks are desperate enough to take our suggestions and actually use them for real? First that stupid Garfield thing gets the green light, and now this. The horror, the horror."