Friday, January 16, 2004

Symposium Lineup Released for NoCoaster Event

(Willowbrook, IL) The final schedule for lectures and events for ACE’s 25th annual NoCoaster event has been finalized. The esteemed list of speakers includes friend of ARN&R Dr. Dikembe Billy-Bob Rittenhouse Arjumand Ktulu-Lieberman Svenson III, who will be delivering the keynote presentation. Based on his latest research findings on the social life of Coaster Enthusiasts, Rittenhouse Arumand Ktulu-Lieberman Svenson III will be presenting new research reported first right here at ARN&R that should give lonely enthusiasts, if not lonely coasters, hope for a fulfilling relationship.

While speakers may change, ARN&R has obtained from a source deep within ACE the list of Enthusiast-Development workshops being offered:

Sunday, 9:00 AM -9:45 AM
Salon I - Going Light On The Gravy: An Enthusiast's Guide to Smorgasbord Etiquette
Salon II - The Truth About Airtime, Or Your Ass Was Not More Than An Inch Off The Seat

Sunday, 10:00 AM – 11:15 AM
Salon I - Queer Eye For The Enthusiast Guy - How To Accessorize Your XXL Coaster Shirts – with Special Guest Carson from QEFTSG!
Salon II - Coming to Grips With Three or More Clicks

Sunday, 2:00 PM – 3:15 PM
Salon I - Sensitivity Training for ACE Officers – Private Session
Salon II - Skirting copyrights to enhance your coaster video.

ACE officials are positive that enthusiasts will be enriched and entertained between mouthfuls of whatever is placed in front of them.

--MMS (with data and panflute solo provided courtesy of MJS)
BORG: The Day Imposed

We are the BORG. We have overtaken this website. We will combine the uniqueness of this site with ourselves. As we have assimilated a feeble, used Vekoma roller coaster and rethemed it as BORG Assimilator at Paramount's Carowinds, today is declared BORG: The Day. Observe breaking news about BORG and related projects over toward your left throughout the day. Prepare to be assimilated. Resistance is futile.