Thursday, March 25, 2004

Vekoma Copyrights Phrase

With the recent news that Donald Trump has sought to copyright the phrase "You're fired!" by filing with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, others are stepping forward in an effort to obtain exclusive rights to things that millions of people have said.

This morning, Vekoma, a Dutch roller coaster design firm, announced that it had filed for a copyright with the same United States office, requesting exclusive rights for all merchandising based on the phrase they claim to be intimately associated with their product.

"Vekoma has lost substantial amounts of money over the past few years due to others using our phrase," said Vekoma rep Megan Blauvelt. "For that reason, we wish to protect our interests by filing to have our exclusive proprietary rights to our intellectual property recognized in the United States. Soon, only Vekoma will be able to use the famous catchphrase 'Ow! Shit! Damn it! My head! Ow! Crap! My back! Son of a bitch! Let me off this piece of shit! Ow! Ow! My kidneys! Ouch! Ow! Ow!' in marketing and business ventures."

A challenge to this copyright filing has been made by the rival coaster product manufacturer Gerstlauer. A brief submitted by the corporation states that "the catchphrase was coined by riders of wooden coasters using trains from our corporation" and that "the issue would be taken to the courts if necessary, in order to prserve our ability to profit from something that we designed."

New Vekoma Boomerang 3D Simulator to Open At Excalibur

Excalibur, the struggling "family-oriented" hotel and casino in Las Vegas, has dipped its hand into the 3D simulator market with its new experience, "The Vekoma Boomerang."

"Sadly, not many people in American have been able to experience the Vekoma Boomerang due to its rareness in amusement parks across this country," stated Dough Hirschlinger, Excalibur's head of entertainment. "We hope to solve this obvious drought with our latest state-of-the-art attraction."

The simulator, which is estimated to cost approximately ten times the amount of buying and constructing an actual Vekoma Boomerang, plans to simulate "exactly what it is like to ride a Vekoma Boomerang," continued Hirschlinger. "This will include, of course, a projected 3D image of the ride experience itself, but also so much more."

In addition to the 3D film of the experience, riders will experience such sensations as real wind and forceful chair vibrations. Excalibur is also introducing new "Jackhammer Technology" which will make the ride even more realistic. Once the roller coaster begins its trek from its initial backward ascent, small hammers will come out from behind the audiences' seats, striking them multiple times in different parts of the head, leading to "a precise replication of what it is like to ride a Vekoma Boomerang."

Advil, which is co-sponsoring the attraction, has added that it will be opening a special stall outside the exit offering double tablets of their product at the low price of $10 a dose.