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Disney Buys 5,000 Acres for Farm-Themed Park

The Disney company yesterday purchased 5,000 acres in south-central Los Angeles for a brand-new amusement park. But it won't be just another park themed after California or a magical kingdom. Instead, in an innovative partnership with Tyson Chicken and Archer Daniels Midland, the new park -- tentatively called Rural Disney -- will be themed after today's agribusiness.

"The main section will be the soybean farm," said Michael Eisner in a conference call with analysts. "Based on advice we got from ADM, roughly 3,500 acres will be nothing but soybeans, with one ride heavily themed to the area for every 500 acres. My favorite ride is Farm Accident, but we won't tell you a lot of details about that except that it involves one big thresher and a lot of special effects."

The balance of the park will be the Tyson-sponsored part, with building after building of chickens with waste lagoons -- ponds half-filled with chicken feces -- spotting the area. "About half of the chickens have been specially genetically modified to create enormous meat-heavy birds unable to fly, walk, or do anything besides sit in their own waste. The other half are layers, forced to sit in a cage just millimeters larger than the birds themselves, laying eggs galore while, again, sitting in their own waste. The kids are gonna love it!" concluded Eisner.

If the park is successful, Disney is said to be considering adding cattle factory farming and hog feedlots.