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Further Mission: Space Changes Revealed

Less than a year after the "kinder, gentler" Mission: Space was introduced, with the spinning action removed from some of the modules, Disney announced even more changes, adding what Imagineers called a "truly interactive component" to the underachieving ride.

"We've closed the attraction for approximately a week," said spokesman David Kumho. "But when it reopens, boy, it's going to be phenomenal!"

According to site plans obtained by ARN&R, each rider will, when entering the queue, be given a tan trench coat, a new steel mallet, a new folding knife with a 4-inch blade, 3 to 4 feet of rubber tubing, and large plastic garbage bags. Each rider will also be required to don a diaper.

The plans are unclear about precisely what follows, but it appears likely that patrons will be required to drive approximately 1,000 miles at the Richard Petty Speedway attraction without stopping before doing anything with the equipment given to them and prior to any opportunity to board the actual Mission: Space attraction. Additionally, it appears likely that the Mission: Space ride will have a waterbed and heart-shaped hot tub added, for reasons not yet disclosed.

Unconfirmed reports indicate that the newly-revamped attraction will be sponsored by London Fog Outerwear, Hefty Bags, and Depends.

--GP