Sunday, March 21, 2004

ACE Courts Young Members With New Website

The American Coaster Enthusiasts unveiled a new version of their website this morning, one designed to attract the all-important young coaster enthusiasts of tommorrow to the organization.

"This new version of the official ACE website will draw in eager young blood by creating a fun 'ACE Camp' atmosphere in which the kids can learn and play," said ACE President, High Munificent Matriarch, and Supreme Master of the Wildebeest Lash Carole Sanderson. "We've also noticed that most of our regular adult members prefer the new child-friendly website, claiming that it uses fewer big words and is very easy to understand. Some say it's pretty addictive!"

"With more exciting, intelligent, and dazzlingly colored sections of the ACE website opening up daily, including Big Bad Boys, The Aliens, and Birthday Cake, we believe we have a website that will draw in new members by the billions," added Sanderson. "And these eerily similar mantras posted on each page of the site are not at all creepy!"

Sanderson then suddenly and inexplicably adopted a glazed-over zombie expression before droning out the following in a deep, resonant robot voice:

We learned many things like take apart.
Our favorite part of ACE Camp is Take-Apart.
Take-Apart is our favorite because you get to take things apart.
Kids shoud come to ACE Camp because they would have fun.
Parents should let their kids come to ACE Camp because they would learn a lot of new things.

ARN&R will update further as more information about the new ACE website becomes available.