Wednesday, June 25, 2003

CPO Opens New Shelter for Battered and Abused Coasters

The famed Coaster Preservation Organization (formerly Coaster Preservation Club) has branched out beyond rescuing abandoned coasters and suing parks that leave coasters standing but not operating for four months or more. On Monday, June 23rd, it unveiled blueprints for a new shelter specifically to aid abused and battered coasters.

“I was shocked when a friend told me the sad story of Rolling Thunder at Six Flags Great Adventure,” said Lee Coaster, Chairman, President, and CEO of the CPO (formerly CPC). “When I heard about this once-noble coaster without fresh paint, running on dry rails, operating day-to-day at the mercy of cold, uncaring Ride Operators, I knew the CPO (formerly CPC) had to step in and do something."

The center, to be located in North Dakota, or perhaps Louisiana, is designed to house coasters which have escaped from their current tormenters. “As we all know, some of these great rides will suffer from 'Battered Coaster Syndrome,' and may not have the confidence or courage to escape. We are here to help them with a confidential rescue program.”

Once at the center, coasters will be re-painted, oiled, and stroked lovingly. Assertiveness Training and Self-Defense classes will also be offered to coasters to help them “get back on their feet again.”

Most abused coasters are afraid to press charges against their owners, so there is little to no media coverage or court records of this abuse. A hopeful Lee Coaster said, “We’re going to turn this around – one coaster at a time.”