Thursday, January 27, 2005

Six Flags America to Follow Hersheypark Trend

Six Flags America made a shocking announcement today regarding park plans for the 2005 season.  Taking after Hersheypark, which recently canceled this year's new coaster addition, Six Flags America has decided to cancel all park projects this year in order to maintain its hard-earned reputation of never adding anything.

Kieran Burke, CEO of Six Flags Incorporated, made a special trip to SFA in below freezing weather today to announce that this year’s planned expansion of sinks and water fountains would be canceled in order to prove know-it-all coaster enthusiasts wrong on all accounts, and sources close to the Six Flags camp say that this trend may last longer than one year.

“We had thought about adding a Standup roller coaster in the past few years, then a mouse, then a new water park back behind Superman, but some coaster idiot kept foiling our plans.” Burk stated.  He then went on to explain, “So instead, we had decided not to add anything relevant to the park, but just add sinks and water fountains around the back of the park.  But in response to this thread on CoasterBuzz, we’ve decided to take after Hersheypark and cancel all additions instead.  Boy, that Hershey knows how to take care of customers!”

Rumor has it that Six Flags Darien Lake, Six Flags Astroworld, and Six Flags St. Louis will follow suit with similar announcements later this month.