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SFOT Parking Signs to be Renamed

Six Flags Over Texas has recently made a commitment, as part of improving the guest experience, to rename the signs in their parking lot. The new signs, which will replace the letter/number system currently used by most Six Flags parks, are hoped to more accurately reflect the parking situation in the park that day.

The new names for the signs, in order of their proximity to the park, are:

Holy Shit, How Early Did You Wake Up, Freak!
Someone Got Lucky!
You're Not That Far Away
Well, Someone Woke Up A Half Hour Late!
Um... You're Kind of Far
Dude, You're Far Away
Dude, You're Very Far Away
Dude, You're Very, Very Far Away
Wow, You're Really Far Away
Hope Grandma Got A Wheelchair Handy!
Can You Even See the Park?

with the final, rather lengthy sign stating:

Are you sure you want to come to the park today? It's really, really crowded. Might we recommend you go to a ball game instead? It's actually closer to your car right now than the park.

--MOS