Thursday, May 22, 2003

Ungrateful Park Offers Nothing to Gracious, Overworked Enthusiasts

Recently, Lake Compounce Amusement Park in Connecticut offered no consolation to the fifty or so ACErs who were courteous enough to show up for a commercial filming.

“I went through the hassle of taking the day off of work for nothing!” exclaimed angered enthusiast Mark J. Harke, who scrubs toilets and empties garbage eight hours a week at McDonald’s. “I woke up at 7 o’ clock to be here for the park, strenuously rode the rides, and enjoyed the company of friends all day long in the glaring sun at no charge whatsoever, was forced to consume free Pepsi products, and ate only 6 slices of their horrible free pizza, as well as some bagels, muffins, bottled water, salad, and breadsticks.”

He continued, “and all of that for nothing! Despite me volunteering to attend this filming despite the park never mentioning any reward other then a ‘fun’ day of riding, the park still gave us all the cold shoulder and handed out no freebies after the skyride. This may very well be the only time I’ll ever be getting my face on TV other than that time I was on the news for robbing Kentucky Fried Chicken, but I don’t care.” Hartke blathered on, the grease from his chicken wings dribbling down his cheek, “it doesn’t matter if they had to pay the actors, film crew, and ride ops for their long day of work, and it doesn’t matter that me and my fellow ACERS didn’t fork over a single penny for entry, or parking, or food…I want my free stuff! ACE members are entitled to gobs of perks from amusement parks and we demand them right now!”

This writer agrees. The constant rerides on the number one-rated Boulderdash all morning, even being allowed to stay on for several rides after filming was completed, followed by rides on just about every flat and coaster in the beautiful lakeside park, with the ability to leave anytime one wished, were collectively a veritable slap in the face to enthusiasts everywhere. How dare the park not give us any free crap! Shame!


[Editor's Note: Yes, it's true. You never know when an ARN&R spy might be at an event or regular park day with you! So please do something obnoxious and stupid so we can make fun of you on our webpage! Also note that wearing one of our products from the Shoppe will grant you immunity from our taunts. Be sure to wear the one with the guy pissing on Top Thrill Dragster at Stark Raven Mad or Coaster Madness to be certain we don't pick on you for being an enthusiass!]