Tuesday, July 06, 2004

CPO Counsel Gets New Work

In news that is thrilling the legal world, the former attorney for the Coaster Preservation Organization (formerly Club) has gotten new work, now serving as copyright counsel to the creator of the original CoasterGames.net.

"After advancing such innovative legal theories as suing parks that do not operate all of their rollercoasters, I knew I was looking for a new challenge," said John Patilo, Jr., who joined CoasterGames as Assistant General Counsel for Totally Baseless Protection of Crappy and Abandoned Intellectual Property.

Patilo got an opportunity to protect crappy and abandoned intellectual property much sooner than expected, when someone acquired the domain CoasterGames.org and launched a site featuring, shockingly, games relating to coasters, on a site that looked crappily somewhat like the previous crappy site. Patilo did not take this affront sitting down, except insofar as he was sitting down as he directed his employer to post a message that stops just short of using the classic legal term "poopy-head," demanding that the operator of the new, crappy looking, CoasterGames disclaim any connection to the old, crappy looking, CoasterGames site.

Patilo tells ARN&R that he is "thrilled" by how the discussion has played itself out, especially with his employer's public (and completely accurate) admission that he is acting like a dick.

"The reputation of our old crappy site is key to our abilities to launch future crappy sites," said Patilo. "If we allowed anyone with access to free and open source PHP publishing tools to use them to produce sites that look exactly like every other site in the world, including our site, that didn't look unique in any way whatsoever, why, um...shit, I forgot what I was going to say. Oh, I wouldn't get paid. That's what I was going to say."

Sources indicate that Patilo is considering whether to advise his client to publicly use the term "Neener neener neener" in the newsgroup posting, or possibly whether to even declare the new CoasterGames site "d00fy."

In recognition of Patilo's efforts, we at ARN&R are proud to declare the archived copy of his employer's site as this week's Site O' The Weak. Congratulations!