Friday, October 08, 2004

Heimo Sued by Wicked Pictures Star

German Animatronic company Heimo recently received a lawsuit from Wicked Pictures. The adult film company’s star Woody Ruffwood said the amusement park company has stolen his image and name for their new "Woody Ruffwood, the Talking Tree" concept.

"It would have been fine if I could get some royalties or something, but this is ridiculous," moaned Ruffwood. "I plug women for hours on end and this is the respect I get. What is this world coming to?"

Paulaner Franziskaner, Heimo’s PR Director, said he didn’t know what the confusion was about. He commented, "Ve don’t know why Herr Ruffwood has such a hard-on for our tree. It is just a piece of wood that makes people happy."

The object in question is Heimo’s new Woody Ruffwood attraction, a freestanding animatronic object that includes woodpeckers, beavers and owls with hooters that many swear are direct from nature.

Harmless Squirming Log or Shameless Ripoff of Porn Star's Good Name?

The professional plunger says the similarities are obvious. "Look at his nose; it hooks to the left, just like me. In addition, he can go for hours without stopping. I don’t know if he had that nasty case of crabs a few years ago, but it wouldn’t surprise me."

Despite the problems, Heimo has refused to take the tree off the market. Franziskaner commented that the company will "stand hard and firm" against the "laughable allegations."

Utter Prick, or Complete Asshole?

That's the question of the day as we alert you to our Site O' the Weak. It refers specifically to the poster NoGodForMe (AKA Robert Viands), who takes a forum topic about a lawsuit involving Six Flags New England and goes on three separate racist tirades where he extensively details his hatred of Jews, and rips into women and Pakistanis while he's at it. He even specifically calls a Jewish poster on the forum some offensive things we don't find it necessary to repeat here. Perhaps a long day of drinking and attending Klan rallies prevented him from spewing more of his oral diarrhea about how much he hates any other people different from him.

Although there has been a fair amount of activity on the topic from people trashing this Neanderthal's worthless posts, we're a little surprised that there hasn't been more. Do you coaster enthusiasts actually tolerate this sort of racist filth? Between this guy and Psycho Loser Stalker Boy, the coaster enthusiast community is sure looking real good right now!

Just because inbred, sub-moronic rednecks have a delusional opinion doesn't mean it needs to be shared with civilized society. Keep the asinine racist and anti-Semitic comments to yourself and go f*ck some more goats and swine.

--The Staff