Sunday, June 04, 2006

Busch Gardens to Open New Parks

Shortly after enacting name changes for its two popular theme parks, from Busch Gardens Williamsburg to Busch Gardens Europe and Busch Gardens Tampa to Busch Gardens Africa, the Busch company today announced that it would be opening an entire series of new theme parks. By the year 2010, there will be a Busch Gardens themed to each and every continent.

"Naturally, there will be a Busch Gardens South America, a Busch Gardens Asia, and a Busch Gardens Australia," said Busch representative Denny R. Rammerstein. "And we are sure that Americans will be eager to experience the exotic splendors of the unknown and mysterious when they step through the gates of Busch Gardens North America. But the jewel in our crown will be Busch Gardens Antarctica."

Expected to open in 2009, Busch Gardens Antarctica will use cutting-edge technology and special effects to give visitors a true taste of what life at the South Pole is really like. The entire park will be chilled to temperatures of -65 degrees Fahrenheit, with blinding snowstorms every ten minutes, along with near-constant, howling, 80mph wind gusts.

Details about most rides, attractions, and amenities are being tightly guarded, but Rammerstein did acknowledge a few details, such as the fact that there would naturally be a Festhaus serving authentic Antarctican corned beef sandwiches and pizza, as well as several thrill rides. However, he noted that "our roller coasters will likely be off-the-shelf Vekoma and Pinfari rides rather than signature attractions like Aplengeist or Shakira, since 99.5 percent of all guests will succumb to the elements before they even get past the annoying employees requesting that they pose for keyhole pictures."