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Coaster Enthusiast Gets Date

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Ian Morgan, a seventeen-year-old coaster enthusiast from suburban Cleveland, was reported by those close to the situation to have received assent from Ann Rakesply, another seventeen-year-old, to attend a high school dance with him. Remarkably, Rakesply is both a nonenthusiast and aware of Morgan's status as an enthusiast, and yet agreed to go out with him.

"It's pretty amazing," said Morgan's best friend, Jeremy Morris. "She knows he spends all of his money from his job at KFC to go to the various amusement parks around Ohio -- and he wears his homemade 'Millennium Force Rules!' t-shirt at least once a week -- and yet she's going out with him? Incredible."

Rakesply, who is active in the high school drama club and is fond of wearing capes, was nonplussed by the media attention. "Sure, I wish he was a bit more into the Renaissance Festivals instead of theme parks, but heck, there are huge roasted turkey legs available both places. And it's not like my social calendar is full. Still, you're right, the coaster thing is a little weird."

Word of Morgan's date spread through the enthusiast community with a rapidity approaching the reports -- later proved erroneous, or at least drastically overstated -- that a Pennsylvania-based enthusiast had engaged in sexual intercourse with a woman who was aware of his denim jacket covered with patches from amusement parks across the country.