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Massive ARN&R Traffic Brings CafeShops Server to its Knees

In a rush of traffic not seen since the online Victoria's Secret fashion show, tens of millions of loyal ARN&R readers rushed to Ye Olde Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors Shoppe and promptly brought the entire CafeShops system to a screeching halt. We apologize for the inconvenience; clearly, the hundreds of thousands of dollars we spent on the store will come back through protracted and vicious litigation.

Or maybe CafeShops is just having problems and it'll be back up soon (hopefully). In any event, we know it's broken. Your opportunity to give us money will come back soon.