Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors.

Lake Placid Event Surprises and Thrills ACE Members

According to the New England Dispatch, the regional newsletter for the New England members of the American Coaster Enthusiasts, the Great Escape park in "Lake Placid," New York will likely host an event this summer. While somewhat surprising, since there are no coasters in Lake Placid and the only current Great Escape park is in Lake George, the news has been warmly greeted by members of the coaster organization.

"This is gonna rock," said Bert Feelyhands, 24. "I bet we get [exclusive ride time] on some of those cool Winter Olympics things like the luge run and some ski slopes and maybe we can even show off our ice dancing moves. I wonder how much it'll cost to get all the snow and ice going in the 95-degree weather though. Well, heck on a stick, that ain't my concern. That's why we've got event planners."

Feelyhands added that he hopes Lake Placid is installing a secret coaster that only the New England region knows about. "That would explain why we'd have an event at a place with no apparent coasters, right?"

A few party poopers failed to experience wonderment and amazement at the announcement of the possible event. Says Douglas Tallywacker, 50, "isn't Lake Placid where the giant crocodile was chasing around Bridget Fonda and that crap actor who played the President in Independence Day [Ed. note: Bill Pullman]? I'm sure not going to any Getting Eaten Alive by Giant Crocodile ERT."

According to reliable sources, ACE regional events will also be taking place in Calgary, Alberta; Park City, Utah; Albertville, France; Lillehammer, Norway; and Nagano, Japan in the near future.

--JCK