Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Bladder Voided

Amusement park enthusiast Chris Grueninger's bladder explosively emptied its contents directly into his pants Sunday, he claims. According to Grueninger, the "scare actors" at Busch Gardens Williamsburg's Howloscream were so utterly terrifying that his bladder involuntarily voided itself all over him in most embarrassing fashion.

The incident occurred at approximately 8:00 PM, as the park was just entering darkness. Says Grueninger, "I was already sorta creeped out by those sheets hanging in the trees and by the blacklights sticking out right in the open, and that Festhaus show was unbelievably frightening, especially when they sang Bon Jovi. Then, I was absolutely scared out of my wits when this woman dressed as a statue or something jumped at me and went 'RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!' Since I'd filled myself up with copious gallons of expensive, noxious Pepsi products all evening, my bladder was totally full when the scary lady jumped at me, and its entire contents were hosed all over me with incredible violence."

Grueninger noted with regret that "there was this chick dressed like a gypsy who wasn't at all scary, more like pretty damn hot, but I had to run away like I was frightened anyway since I was pretty sure she'd find the stench of my urine all over my pants and legs to be a turnoff."


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