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Hurricane Moves Inland

After battering the coasts of North Carolina and Virginia Thursday, Hurricane Isabel moved inland, heading through the interior toward Pennsylvania overnight. This news was extremely troubling to some coaster enthusiasts.

"I had no idea that ride was going to be moved," said Ohio American Coaster Enthusiast member Hugh Jazz, 45. "I was doing my usual thing, skipping my shower to eat another deep-fried turkey while downloading porn and looking at Top Thrill Dragster videos simultaneously, when I flipped on the TV and saw all this Weather Channel crap about the Hurricane travelling northwest.

"First of all, I'm surprised...I thought this coaster was pretty highly regarded, seeing as it's the most popular ride at the Myrtle Beach Pavilion. But I know that park is moving to a new location in a couple years, so maybe they couldn't afford to keep Hurricane when they moved, so they went ahead and sold it now. I just wonder what park it'll be going to. They were saying on the broadcast how it was headed through Virginia and the Great Lakes region, and might end up in Canada. Maybe Paramount's Canada's Wonderland won't be adding some chump kiddie ride for next year after all."

Jazz noted that he was "kinda confused why Weather Channel would be the ones to break this story," but that he was "glad at least one station cared about important world events."

--JCK