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RCCGB Pickets British Medical Association Spokesman's Office

Yesterday, the Roller Coaster Club of Great Britain (RCCGB) began creating what observers claimed was "a veritable wall" in front of the main entrance to the office of Dr. Simon Minkoff, a representative of the British Medical Association's junior doctors' committee, in protest of recommendations Minkoff has recently made.

Minkoff has garnered international notoriety recently through his suggestion that Great Britain combat its high national obesity rate by mandating smaller doors for fast food establishments, apparently limiting the fattening, greasy comestibles only to those slim enough to be able to handle them, or perhaps to those clever enough to have a friend order and bring the food out for them. But the doctor's suggestions have met opposition from the coaster club.

"This is a threat to our way of life, yea verily, to our very existence," said RCCGB member Ian Carter, waving an illegible sign in the air. "These so-called doctors and scientists think they know what's best for us, but they don't. They obviously have not considered the possible impact on coaster enthusiasts when making this suggestion. If they reduce the door size of fast food places, how are we supposed to eat during our many cross-country coach trips? I daresay the British economy will feel a sting if we can't get in those doors, because then we won't be able to make our trips at all, and the restaurant and theme parks industries will take a heavy hit."

Another leader of the protest, who requested anonymity, told ARN&R that, if the measure is enacted, all members of future RCCGB coaster trips will each be provided with a fresh pork chop, which they can use to slather down both themselves and the door frame, thereby making access to yummy cheeseburgers and fried chicken far more likely.

--JCK