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Enthusiast Apprehensive About Relationship After Rye Playland Visit

According to sources close to Guy Walter, the longtime coaster enthusiast is "somewhat apprehensive" about the future status of the relationship he has with his current girlfriend, Shannon.

"Everything seemed to be going really well," Walter noted. "Shannon's really cute and bright, and she actually makes about eight times the amount of money I do, so maybe she could function as a sugar momma for my coaster trips. But then she agreed to visit Rye Playland with me, and things turned sour."

Apparently, Walter's daydream became a nightmare when the couple rode on the park's exceptionally modest coasters, the wooden Dragon and the Crazy Mouse.

"She was terrified of both of them," he wailed. "Utterly terrified! She had to sit on a bench, and she was shaking, and then she said she liked me a lot, but she'd never ride another coaster with me ever again."

"She was scared of a friggin' mouse!" Walter screamed out, after a moment of silence. "A mouse! Augh!"

Walter stated that the situation was still up in the air. "I was initially just sick to my stomach over the whole thing," he said. "But Shannon's pretty hot, and she puts up with my hobby, and, much more importantly, dropped the terms 'enthusiasses,' 'upstop wheels,' and 'tick rides' in conversation recently. I guess I'll probably keep her around."

--JCK