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S&S Dissed by Rock

Powder Keg, Silver Dollar City's newest roller coaster, was officially unveiled today in a press conference hosted by comedian Chris Rock.

Rock began with some playful jabs at fellow funnyman Yakov Smirnov (who has his own theater nearby), threw out some obligatory goat molestation jokes for the benefit of the locals, and made the bold declaration that he would have preferred to host a coaster opening in the Black Mountains instead of the "Cracker-Ass Mountains."

Barely-toothed Ozarkians then stood gape-mouthed with puzzlement as Rock proclaimed "If you are Silver Dollar City and you want an Intamin launch coaster and all you can get is an S&S... THEN WAIT!!"

Humorless prig Sean Penn later issued a written statement to Rock that indicated, among other things, that S&S was a major United States coaster and thrill ride manufacturing firm, its air-compression technology was exquisite, and that the company was one of our greatest planetary treasures. Reports that Penn referred to Rock as a "mean poopy-head" in the letter could not be verified at press time.

--DH/JCK