Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors.

Vekoma Sales Rep Dodges Enthusiasts

Lake Compounce is a beautiful park. Recently Vekoma Sales Representative Bennie Van Der Schlong was enjoying a relaxing day at the Kennywood-owned facility when two coaster enthusiasts, decked out in Beast and Son of Beast t-shirts, followed him in line. “I vasn’t quite sure vat they wanted,” noted Van Der Schlong, “but then I remembered I was wearing a Vekoma polo and sported a briefcase. Things could have gotten very ugly.”

Things, indeed, got very ugly when Van Der Schlong saw the faces of the two enthusiasts. Enthusiast Tim Simmons and his fugly wife Regina were standing in line for Boulderdash, two people behind the Dutch salesman, who noted that, “All I vanted to do was relax in the park with my meeting with the GM.” Like a vulture eyeing a carcass the enthusiasts crept closer, slowly inching their way to the loading platform where the restrictive line would be gone and they could get behind their sworn enemy -- a Vekoma salesman.

Seconds before confrontation a stroke of genius hit Van Der Schlong. “Vat I decided to do is ride in the second-to-last car,” said the crafty Dutchman. “I knew they vould not follow me into such an inferior seat.” The Cheese-Eater’s instincts served him well. Disgusted at the thought of riding anywhere but the back, the Simmonses moved to the rear of the train. They hoped to catch the sales guy on his way out, but as luck would have it they were on two different trains.

“I love stalking people, but I love the back seat more,” smiled Simmons in an ARN&R interview. “Best seat, best seat!”

--FMB