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Public Relations, Marketing, Planning, Budgeting, Administrative, Executive, Ride Operations, Finance, Food Service, Janitorial, Security, and Special Events Departments of Every Amusement Park Chain and Company Completely Unaware of "Open Letter to the Industry"

Joe Fredrickson, fifteen-year-old coaster enthusiast in suburban Madison, Wisconsin, recently posted an "open letter" to the amusement park industry listing his series of complaints about the parks he had visited. "It was a great letter," Frederickson told ARN&R in an exclusive interview. "I really hit them where it hurt, explaining, in detail, the problems with every part of the industry and how they had to change to keep my business. I focused mostly on better pizza sauce. Since I'm the heart of their target market -- and since I posted it on CoasterDudes.com, which I hear gets, like, hundreds of hits a month -- I really thought it'd shake things up."

When reached for comment, spokespeople for the Public Relations, Marketing, Planning, Budgeting, Administrative, Executive, Ride Operations, Finance, Food Service, Janitorial, Security, and Special Events Departments of Six Flags, Busch, Paramount, Kennywood, and Universal Studios, as well as independent park operators representing approximately eighty percent of the parks in the United States, all but one said they had not heard of the letter or the site.

"Joe Fredrickson? Nope, never heard of him. You say he wrote an open letter to the industry? Hmm. Missed that one," said Thor Perseue, a Cedar Fair spokesman. "We take every visitor's concerns seriously, though, and we will be certain to examine his letter -- wait a minute. Did you say he was worried about pizza sauce? Nah, we're not gonna take that seriously."  Perseus called back later to add, "What a loser. Screw him." Similar comments were received throughout the industry. One ride operator who answered the phone at Big Chief's Karts & Coasters stated that the park was considering the letter "very seriously," but he was later determined to be Fredrickson's younger brother lowering his voice to sound more adult.

CoasterDudes.com webmaster John Pegsley, once he was reminded that he was webmaster of a site called CoasterDudes.com, said, "Uh, we remain confident that our site is central to the industry. Why, looking at our logs, it's clear that we get a huge amount of traffic from AOL executives...or at least people who use AOL."