Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors.

Six Flags Acknowledges Inappropriate Accounting of Funnel Cake Sugar

In breaking news, Six Flags Theme Parks Inc. (NYSE: PKS) today issued a press release indicating that it had discovered that a seasonal employee at Six Flags Fiesta Texas had engaged in accounting malfeasance. Specifically, the employee misrepresented the volume of sugar used in preparing funnel cakes in order to cover up his near-constant eating of the sugar.

"Unfortunately, he just was too addicted to the sugar to get help," said Beth Cargill, human resources manager at the theme park. "He was eating upwards of ten tablespoons of the stuff a day. Fortunately, our outside audit team caught the discrepancy by comparing Fiesta Texas's sugar usage to that of other parks in the chain."

The employee, who has not yet been identified, was immediately fired and was said to be the subject of an SEC investigation.