Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors.

International Spirits Distributor Renames Product

Evidencing a futile desire to break into the highly profitable bogus theme park rumor category, the Absolut company released a new product called "Absolut Reliable Booze & Vodka."

"We taght dis waz gonna bee a goot ting," says Absolut spokesperson Gunta Hildawater. "We shape bottle to look like Drop Zone, Tower of Terror and many
otter Amercan trill park attractions."

When contacted about the new product at the Absolutely Reliable Towers in midtown Manhattan, ARN&R's unnamed CEO exclaimed, while throwing his pen across the room, pushing papers on the floor and jumping clear over his desk, "They stole my flippin' idea! I was the one who came up with mixing alcohol with bogus theme park rumors!"

"We hat ideea since Andy Warhol design first bottle," Gunter counter claims. "You, Mr. ARN&R Dude, were still in baby clothes."

"I was not! I was not! I was not!"

While enthusiasts worldwide praised ARN&R for obtaining a domain licensed solely in its name, an official investigation has been ordered to ensure all writers and
contributors to ARN&R are of legal drinking age even if they do not touch the stuff themselves.

--RAS