Saturday, July 05, 2003

Corrections

ARN&R willingly and fawningly corrects factual errors and inappropriate remarks made by its staff in print. If you believe you have discovered an error on our website, do not hesitate to contact us at the link to the left.

Recently, that fu*king idiot broad who rode the Boulderdash ride at Lake Compounce while holding an unfinished cup of bright red beverage, then raised her hands in the air for the whole ride with the cup in hand, spraying two members of the AbsolutelyReliable Writing Staff with a fine red mist, was referred to as "a sorry-ass piece of white trash so stupid there do not exist words in the English mother tongue to fully describe how stupid she is." Actually, we meant to say that she was "the dumbest, most inconsiderate fu*king bitch in the history of the planet." We regret this error.

ARN&R ran an article in which Michael Bolton's singing was conpared unfavorably to a ride on the widely loathed Hercules roller coaster. We at ARN&R love Michael Bolton and would never intentionally imply that he sucks our asses raw. We're Michael Bolton fans. For our money, it doesn't get any better than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman."

A recent article disparaged some pasty white insulated cracker-ass people on rec.roller-coaster who always feel the need in their trip reports to make casually racist statements about how a park is ghetto or scary because they....ooooh... saw a black family there or something. Our writer called these pasty cracker-asses "writhing backassward racist pieces of shit losers." Naturally, ARN&R fully supports the freedom of speech of really stupid bigoted creeps on web groups. The offending author who made these terrible derogatory remarks toward these racists has been fired and is being savagely raped by rabid marmots as you read this.

Finally, we recently made an error where we said that Mean Streak should be torn to the ground and ripped into pieces to form three real wood coasters. We apologize for this callous statement; careful analysis has indicated that there is enough wood from the Mean Streak demolition to form four real wood coasters.
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