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Gravity Group Announces Opening of Check Cashing Store

After keeping the amusement industry waiting impatiently to hear its next big announcement, wooden coaster design firm The Gravity Group finally broke the silence and set October 1, 2003, as the hoped-for grand opening of its check-cashing franchise "Cash Now."

The store, to be located somewhere in suburban Cincinnati, will feature an array of financial and non-financial services centered on the franchise chain's famous "payday loan."

"We're thrilled to be able to provide check cashing services to whatever section of Cincinnati we end up in," said Michael Graham, one of the company's coaster designers and second-shift cashier. "We'll provide outstanding check cashing and other services, just like we provide great coaster maintenance and services to all of our clients...er, our one client, anyway."

When asked about the seeming disconnect between check cashing and coaster design, Graham professed confusion and said that "they're so closely connected it's not even worth talking about."

In related news, inside sources at the company insist that you did not see them applying for jobs at Pizza Hut.