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Rollercoaster! Magazine Introduces “Letters to Rollercoaster!”

Rollercoaster! Magazine, the leading magazine for the self-aggrandizement of coaster enthusiasts nationwide, has introduced a new feature on the back page of every forthcoming issue that is sure to excite all of its subscribers. “Letters to Rollercoaster!” will feature the “real life” experiences of enthusiasts who write in to tell of their most outrageous coaster experiences. An advance mockup of the next issue has fallen into the hands of ARN&R, and we are happy to provide this titillating excerpt of the next issue’s feature:

Dear RollerCoaster!,

I never thought this could happen to me, but boy was I wrong. It all started when I was at SFMM on a sunny afternoon. I had my croakie, my fanny pack, and my drool hankie – I was set for an afternoon of riding! When approaching Superman The Escape, I saw a lot of upset guests walking in the opposite direction of the ride.

Being an ACE member, I walked past the posted signs that the ride was closed and demanded that a ride op tell me what was wrong. She looked me up and down, smiled a private smile, and said, “We’ve been waiting for you, Jeremy,” and proceeded to lead me to a completely empty train. She let me adjust the restraint myself and then started the ride, with just me on it!

When the ride was over, I thanked her and started to leave. “Where do you think you’re going?” asked another ride op. “You’re not leaving here until you’ve ridden in EVERY SEAT of the train.” And then they rolled out a cart completely filled with barbecue pork! RollerCoaster!, I thought I had died and went to heaven. I rode alone on S:TE for hours, except when I was chowing down on the pork – that hanky really came in handy! None of my online friends at Westcoaster or Coasterbuzz believe me when I tell them this really happened, but I knew you would understand and print this letter.

Sincerely,

Jeremy Lügner
Reseda, CA

--MMS