Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors.

Code & Coaster Nerds Vie For Holy Grail of Tools

Men who will never have anyone care for them saw an interesting note on CoasterBuzz today. Werner Stengel, the legendary roller coaster designer, is holding a contest to have a new website designed for his company. While the current website is pretty awful, it was at least designed by someone who knows the amusement industry.

We can only imagine what sort of travesty dozens of enthusiasts who live with their parents will think of. The ARN&R staff, in a fit of investigative journalism, called some of the people submitting website concepts to Stengel. Here is what they found:

Scott Fappny, 45, "Code Slinger"

"I plan to utilize a new form of code that has the best aspects of Javascript combined with the functionality of traditional --[Click]" (It is believed that the ARN&R reporter hung up at this point.)

Tim Johnson, 34, Jizz Mopper at The Vibraphone

"My goal for the website of Werner Stengel, or, as I call him, my new best friend, is to make a site that reflects his kick ass rides. I mean this dude has done it all. Did I say dude, I meant God! I was thinking of switching from AOL to Tripod, but I haven't got much further than that. I will win that first class ticket to Nazi land."

Random Guy in The Florida Coaster Club Phone Book, Forty-something, Prison Bitch

"Tera, Tera, Tera!"

Jeff Smithtis, 26, 4th Year Senior at Ball State

"Slow down man, I have a wicked buzz...That's better. The Steng-dog is the shiznit. Yo, I mean for shizzle my nizzle. I am so street. I was thinkin' of introducing him to some Tupac when we hang together for the day. My favorite Stengel coaster? Have to be Son of Beast, because when you make it an acronym it is S.O.B. That's awesome."

Brittany Lynn Swanson could not be reached for comment.

--FMB