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Enthusiast Questions Commitment

Veteran enthusiast Jeff Maltos was left questioning his commitment to roller coasters and other amusement park fare after recently returning from an almost 2-week vacation, which involved no coaster rides whatsoever.

Maltos realized his failings near the end of the trip when he passed an amusement park on the way to his hotel. "I mean I saw the roller coasters gleaming there in the sun, heck I even saw some people on a train heading up the hill I was so close, but I didn’t pester my travel partners to stop so I could partake. And these was a Boomerang and an SLC I’d never ridden before, so I missed out on the credits..." at this point his voice trailed off and a single tear rolled down his cheek.

"I just don’t know how I can live with myself anymore," a dejected Mr. Maltos croaked. "I’m deathly afraid to show my face at any coaster club events after such a shameful deed! You sure you aren’t gonna let no one know my real name, right?" he demanded before continuing. (His name has been modified for this story.)

When asked if he was merely being considerate of his fellow travelers by electing to not force them to waste time at an amusement park when there were plenty of other unique activities to be undertaken, he quickly went on the defensive, "Well, what could possibly be more unique than riding a new coaster in a new city; even if it is the same basic ride as elsewhere? I just don’t know what I was thinking." After repeatedly flagellating himself, he curled into the fetal position and wept for several minutes before finally recovering, and emphatically stating: "Never again will I allow myself to pass an opportunity to ride, I promise you that! I just hope none of my enthusiast friends recognizes the guilt in my eyes."

--SM